Can a Mistress Cheat?

This past weekend my mister was away on a vacation with his family. He barely contacted me the entire week. There was a part of me that wanted to understand, but most of me didn't. I escaped two hours south to spend the last remaining days of his vacation with people whose company I enjoy.

There was typical fall fun, including the two of them (who are engaged) introducing me to someone they thought I would hit it off with. I did, in a way. Well, let's be honest. We hit it off once I had enough wine in my system to settle.

We didn't sleep together, but we did do other things. Now, I feel a little background is necessary before I go any further here. I have never cheated on anyone. I am happy to be the one helping with cheating, but I have never been the CHEATER. I would never do that to someone I care about. I get that this sounds borderline hypocritical, but frankly, welcome to life.

I ended up leaving his bed and returning to the one designated to me. The next morning I felt GUILTY. It was as if I had cheated on my mister. That is wrong intellectually on so many levels. He spends every night in the bed of his WIFE, and I am expected to stay exclusive? That is unfair. We have never had that conversation and he has never told me that he expects that from me. Yet there it was, guilt. Now guilt is not an emotion that I feel very often (except during social hangovers, see my post about that here.)

So that brought me to a very interesting philosophical list of questions: is it possible for a mistress to cheat on her mister? If it is possible, is it wrong? Does the mister deserve to know?

I don't think that is really a simple answer and that it needs to come on a case-by-case basis. For me it makes me feel guilty to be with someone else, so I won't be. I won't tell my mister if I have some indiscretions. I think it really comes down to being fair to the man that is NOT the mister in these situations. I wouldn't promise them exclusivity (or even hint at it) without ending things with a mister.

I hate guilt. Time for wine. Cheers to a cheating mistress.