I think that it is time to end things with my mister. I have done a lot of soul searching over the last few days and have realized something: as much as I have told myself this relationship was more independent, more realistic, than my past relationships, it hasn't been. This affair has been just as unhealthy as many of my past courtships. There is only one difference: getting hurt was predicted. That doesn't make something more healthy.
My mister has been sleeping with me once a week, and hanging out with me as a friend the other times. Not a friend whose hand he holds, or whose arm he brushes with implications...just a friend, if even that. He is not there when I need him (and not because of his wife, mind you) and I am constantly jumping at every opportunity to make his days better. That isn't fair, it isn't even, and I demand better.
Does that mean that I am swearing off my mistress ways? No. Does it mean that I will never see my mister again? Probably also, no. It does mean that my backbone has hardened again. It means that my mind is having open communications with my heart. I am much less likely to put up with bullshit.
To myself as well as to all of my readers: you deserve better. I am not saying go for single people always, that is your choice. What I am saying is that if someone decides to take you on as their mistress they should be all in (with the exception of leaving their significant other). If they aren't, if they don't go out of their way to make your days better, then what is the point really? Bed them once and get the pride and glory, but then move on. I stuck around for too long on this one, I need to pull myself out before I am in too deep and get really scarred.
Wish me luck readers. I am going to need a few decent sized cheers to pull this one off!
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