Who Do I Think I Am?

I will not tell you my name. I will change names to protect the men who have decided I am the one they wish to cheat with. I will sleep with your husband. I won't feel guilty for it--or apologize--saying I have "grown so much" and "deserve better." I have read far too many blogs by women who have reformed from their mistress ways. I have been at this for almost ten years, and with 26 men under my belt, I don't intend to stop any time soon.

I know that I am smart, witty, and attractive enough to find a fantastic man to settle down with--but that just sounds boring and predictable. It would not even come close to as fun as stealing your man, and tossing him back to you once he realizes just how unhappy you make him. This is me. I do not say I'm sorry.

Thank you for training your men, ladies. I appreciate it when they crawl into bed with me.

Madame de Pompadour, mistress of Louis XV of France, Circa 1750

Who am I? Perhaps I manage a business with your life-mate and won his respect in that realm before I earned it in others. Or, maybe, I'm your best friend, even your sister. Perhaps all that trust you have for your man is misplaced, because I assure you, he will cheat given the right opportunity. That might just be a woman like me.

So get angry, reprimand me if you must, but keep on reading, because I will share the inner workings of a mistress. Who doesn't want to hear about that?

"For he was aware of the great secret of life: Women don't look for handsome men. Women look for men who have had beautiful women. Having an ugly mistress is therefore a fatal mistake." -Milan Kundera